Pausing to hear His lovingkindness in the stillness of the morning…
At the end of the day, tiredness and exhaustion escalate my obsessive-compulsive tendencies. My thoughts cycle around in circles. It’s as if I’m on a roundabout, unsure of where to exit and so afraid that I will take the wrong one that I just keep going round and round. With all that wasted energy, my brain feels like it has been run through a millstone, and I fear waking up in the morning with that same fog and no direction. So, when I kneel in prayer at night, I often recite Psalm 143:8 at the end, and this past Saturday night, this verse was a specific part of my prayer: “Cause me to hear thy lovingkindness in the morning; for in Thee do I trust: cause me to know the way wherein I should walk; for I lift up my soul unto Thee” (KJV).
The next morning, as I slipped out of bed, a black blur in the backyard caught my attention. I hurried to the window, trying to get my eyes to adjust through the contact lenses that I know that I am not supposed to sleep in, just in time to see a turkey strutting past our back steps. Another turkey was foraging in the grass a few feet from him. As I stood in silence, gazing out the window at him as he continuously puffed up and spread his beautiful, colorful feathers, and the other turkey moved slowly toward the woods, having breakfast along the way, the words from the previous night’s prayer ran through my mind like a barely audible whisper. I knew at that moment God had heard my prayer. He caught my attention first thing… slowing me down… making me pause so He could remind me that His lovingkindness surrounds us… His Creation… His masterpieces… His provision…. Peering through the glass pane, I was not only enjoying the beauty, splendor, and diversity of God’s creation but also witnessing God’s provision for His creation. God was providing the physical needs of those turkeys. In Matthew 6:26, Jesus says, “Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?” (KJV).
Reciting Psalm 143:8 under my breath… Cause me to hear Thy loving kindness; for in Thee do I trust: cause me to know the way wherein I should walk; for I lift up my soul unto Thee, I pondered on my answered prayer (KJV). Before He can show me the way, I have to hear Him. I need to stop circling at full speed, trying to guess at the right exit, and let Him drive.
And as I think back on my life, I realize that sometimes He may just pull the car to the side of the road and stop until I have learned what is needed for the exit He has for me to take… but in His time, He will provide.
