By F. D. Adkins
He stops in front of the entrance and takes a deep breath trying to settle the butterflies in his stomach. He has spent over an hour getting ready and another hour rehearsing his best lines. He cannot mess this up. She is the girl of his dreams.
The cool air of the air-conditioned restaurant gives him a chill as he swings open the door and steps inside. His eyes scan the dining room searching for his friends. They are supposed to request to be seated at one of her tables. When she comes to take their order, his friends are going to get a conversation started so he can ask her out. I am so lucky to have such great friends, he thinks to himself. I am too shy to just start talking to her by myself.
There…in the corner. He can see the tops of their heads sticking up over the back of the booth. The sight of his three best friends who care enough to spend their Friday night helping him increases his confidence with each step. He has sat in this restaurant a million times hoping to talk to her or at least wave, and after tonight she will actually know he exists. The thought pushes a smile across his whole face.
As he approaches the back of the booth, his friends are laughing.
“What is he thinking? She is way out of his league.”
“I know. It is going to be hilarious when she rejects him. Someone should record this.”
“Yeah. Watching this is going to be so worth giving up our Friday night.”
What? How could they? The blood drains from his face as he slowly backs away. When he knows they still have not seen him, he turns and makes a beeline for the door.
***
She steps from the back heading for the booth in the corner when she recognizes this handsome young man dashing for the exit. Hmmm. He usually sits at one of those small tables by the window. I wonder why he is leaving in such a hurry. Too bad he isn’t sticking around. He seems like a nice guy. She looks back toward the booth with the three boys howling and horseplaying. And nice guys are apparently hard to come by anymore.
***
As soon as he is through the doors, he takes off running for his car. With his heart pounding in his chest, he sits in the driver’s seat clenching his fists. The hurt, the anger, the loneliness…all swirl inside of him. The words, “What is he thinking? She is way out of his league,” repeat over and over and over in his mind. Suddenly, he only feels this gaping hole in his heart. I can’t blame my friends. They are right. What was I thinking? I could never be good enough for someone like her.
************************************************
I remember seeing a demonstration at a church I attended as a child. The teacher had a tube of toothpaste and a paper plate. She asked one person to squirt some of the toothpaste onto the plate. Then, she turned to another person and asked them to take the toothpaste off the plate and put it back into the tube.
Have you ever tried to put toothpaste back into the tube if you squirt out too much? It is not so easy, is it? In this demonstration, the toothpaste symbolizes our words, and the tube is our mouth. Once the words come out of our mouths, we cannot just scoop them up and stuff them back in. I cannot answer for everyone, but I have to say that I am guilty of placing my foot in my mouth more than a few times.
According to an article on language in Britannica primarily contributed by David Crystal and Robert Henry Robins, human language is expressed through verbal, written, or signed symbols, and this language is unique to humans because, while animals are limited at what they can communicate, humans can use these symbols to communicate anything. So, the way I see it, God has endowed humans with a superpower. And, just like the fictional world on television, in books, and in movies, superpowers can be used for good or for evil.
Try a little experiment with me. Think about a time you fell or cut yourself or had some sort of physical injury. Does the memory of that cut or scrape that has healed cause you any pain? Now, think of a time when someone said something hurtful to you. When you think about those words, does it still hurt at all? My point is that physical injuries heal, but derogatory words sometimes leave open wounds that never go away.
The scenario at the beginning of this post is fictional, but the hurt depicted by the words spoken in the story is a relevant issue in our society especially among our youth. In addition to spoken words, social media now provides another means for us to tear away at each other. In 2018, Pew Research Center reported in the article by Monica Anderson, “A Majority of Teens Have Experienced Some Form of Cyberbullying,” that 42 percent of teens had been victims of name-calling online and 32 percent said false rumors had been spread about them.
Aside from hurting each other, how many words that we hear daily even have a purpose? Profanity echoes around us from every direction. It is difficult to enjoy a movie or even a book without curse words being intertwined throughout. However, I believe that the Christian fiction genre has proven that a book or story can have just as much adventure, suspense, and action without profane and perverse dialogue.
As a mother of teens in the age of social media and in a world that seems to so easily use words to bring each other down, I felt led to search my Bible for God’s instructions on using my words to honor Him. If God gave humans this superpower to communicate with words, how did He intend for us to use it? What instructions does the Bible give regarding this gift from God? What does the Bible say about profanity? What does the Bible say about lies and words that bring another person down? Quite honestly, I am astounded at the amount of scripture relating to the mouth and the words that come out of it. Due to the multitude of verses on this topic, I have only listed a portion from my study.
How much power do the words that roll off my tongue have?
- “And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell.” James 3:6 KJV
- “A wholesome tongue is a tree of life: but perverseness therein is a breach in the spirit.” Proverbs 15:4 KJV
The Bible compares the tongue to fire. If fire is not contained, it can cause detrimental damage destroying anything in its path. Fire can cause severe burns that can leave permanent scars. Words can be soothing and healing and provide hope, or words can break and destroy the spirit.
I am responsible for my words:
- “Not that which goeth into the mouth defile a man; but that which cometh out of the mouth, this defileth a man.” Matthew 15:11 KJV
- “But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment. For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned.” Matthew 12:36-37 KJV
- “But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire.” Matthew 5:22 KJV
If the words that come out of my mouth can defile me, and God will hold me accountable for how I choose to use this gift of words, then I best make sure that I am careful to choose my words wisely. So, before I open the floodgates, I should employ that all-important acronym and THINK before I speak.
Is it True?
Is it Helpful?
Is it Inspiring?
Is it Necessary?
Is it Kind?
Profanity:
- “But shun profane and vain babblings: for they will increase unto more ungodliness.” 2 Timothy 2:16 KJV
- “Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient: but rather giving of thanks.” Ephesians 5:4 KJV
- “Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be.” James 3:10 KJV
- “But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth.” Colossians 3:8 KJV
I often hear the question come up regarding why specific words are considered curse words. “What is wrong with saying these words? Are they not just words?” So here I am going to voice how I interpret the scripture. I am no theologian or Bible scholar, but this is what God’s Word says to me on this topic. The above verses instruct to avoid “profane…babbling,” “foolish talking,” “cursing,” and “filthy communication.” If the words are perceived by the person hearing the words as any of these, those words do not reflect the love of God. And, if the words are perceived as profanity, then that goes against the Word of God. So, if the speech in question violates God’s Word and does not represent the love of God that I should be demonstrating, I should abstain from using those words. My words should bring honor to God.
Gossip and rumors:
- “Where no wood is, there the fire goeth out: so where there is no talebearer, the strife ceaseth.” Proverbs 26:20 KJV
If rumors and gossip are not spoken or shared, no problems can arise and no pain inflicted.
How should I speak?
- “Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.” Colossians 4:6 KJV
- “Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer.” Psalm 19:14 KJV
- “I cried out unto Him with my mouth, and He was extolled with my tongue.” Psalm 66:17 KJV
- “My mouth shall shew forth thy righteousness and thy salvation all the day; for I know not the numbers thereof.” Psalm 71:15 KJV
- “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. The tongue of the wise useth knowledge aright: but the mouth of fools poureth out foolishness.” Proverbs 15:1-2 KJV
- “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that is may minister grace unto the hearers.” Ephesians 4:29 KJV
My words should honor God and His Word. My words should be calm and knowledgeable. My words should help and encourage others. My words should share and reflect the love of Jesus. I should talk to God and shout and sing praises to God.
I was shocked to read statistics posted on the National Institute of Mental Health website. The article “Suicide is a Leading Cause of Death in the United States” details that, according to the 2019 Centers for Disease Control and Prevention WISQARS Leading Causes of Death Reports, suicide is the second leading cause of death in people between the ages of 10 and 34, and there are almost 2.5 times as many suicides as homicides in the U.S. There is no way to know what could have been done to change these statistics. However, I do believe these statistics scream the necessity for using words to build each other up and silencing the words that tear each other down.
There are times that I should not speak:
- “Set a watch, O Lord, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips.” Psalm 141:3 KJV
- “Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles.” Proverbs 21:23 KJV
- “Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding.” Proverbs 17:28 KJV
Silence shows wisdom and understanding and keeps me from bringing troubles upon myself. I should pray for God’s help in recognizing when I should remain silent.
In literature, a writer sometimes uses a narrative arc where someone in the story learns something throughout the plot or essentially has an epiphany. Well, I have had an epiphany as my eyes have seen the magnitude of scripture dedicated to what should be flowing from my mouth. Clearly, God views this as a gift that He expects me to take seriously. My words should be used for the glory of God and be a light for Him. If words do not align with God’s instructions for this gift He has given me, I should not say them.
***
Sources:
Anderson, Monica. “A Majority of Teens Have Experienced Some Form of Cyberbullying.” Pew Research Center. 27 Sept. 2018. www.pewresearch.org/internet/2018/09/27/a-majority-of-teens-have-experienced-some-form-of-cyberbullying/.
Crystal, David and Robert Henry Robins. “Language.” Britannica, www.britannica.com/topic/language. Accessed 25 July 2021.
“Suicide is a Leading Cause of Death in the United States.” National Institute of Mental Health, www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/suicide. Accessed 27 July 2021.
