STRENGTH In Weakness

By F. D. Adkins

The young girl sat in the truck, watching the flashing lights bouncing and flickering around her. The evening had begun strangely. Well, maybe strange was not the right word, but it definitely was not the norm. As usual, she and her dad had gone to the barn to ride horses, but, for some reason, her mom had gone too. Typically, her mom would have gone home to get household chores done.

As her dad was getting Ace from his stall, the phone rang. He answered and then handed it to my mom, who started screaming and crying within a second or two.

Now, as she waits alone in the truck outside her grandparents’ house, surrounded by police cars and an ambulance, she can still hear her mother’s muffled words through her wailing tears. Her grandfather was dead. He had taken his own life.

After a few moments alone, a man opened the door and slid into the driver’s seat. She knew him. He was the news reporter for the local radio station. He probably wondered why she wasn’t crying, but he asked if she was okay. The twelve-year-old girl nodded. It might have appeared that she wasn’t upset or scared, but she was. She loved her papaw with her whole heart. But, in her mind, she had convinced herself that crying or bursting into tears would only make it harder for her mother. So, she pushed it down. The news reporter continued to chat, asking her about school, trying to keep her mind at bay. She replied, answering his questions, but never took her eyes off the old yellow house.

A few months passed, and the nights had gotten longer and longer for the girl. The emotions she had buried would erupt in the darkness of the night. It started with a thought that it could have been her fault. That brought the tears, and with each passing night, the thought became like a broken record, swirling, repeating, echoing off the walls of her skull. She knew there was no truth to it. Her grandfather had been bedridden for a while, and she had heard others say that he must have been hiding depression. But still, she could not silence that single thought. Lying awake all night, she would shake from the inside out, and then during the day, she began to wash her hands over and over, as if it gave her some sort of control over something in her life. It didn’t. It only made her hands hurt and bleed, which drew her mom’s attention.

When her mom confronted her, the girl could not hold it in any longer. She finally let loose of the rope in that tug of war with the guilt of adding more worry for her mom. Sleep-deprived, the wall collapsed, and she burst into tears. Of course, the girl realized all would not have gotten so bad if she had not suppressed her pain and had confided in her mother earlier.

Yet, now much, much older, the girl looks back and knows without a doubt that pain had a purpose, for it was there in that bed at night that she prayed non-stop. It was there, in the dark, wide awake, that she felt her Heavenly Father’s hands comfort her. It was there that she had her first real personal encounter with Jesus. And the suffering she endured during this grueling episode of OCD prepared her for the hurdles of the future. She was armed for the battle.

In Romans 5:3-4, Paul writes, “…we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope” (KJV). Then, in Romans 8:28, he details, “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose” (KJV).

The Bible is TRUTH… so we have the guarantee that God will use the tribulations in life for His good if we trust Him. He has a purpose.

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I am reminded of Paul’s words about the thorn in his flesh. Paul asked God three times to take it away (2 Corinthians 12:7-8 KJV).

“And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.”

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 KJV

God can use my weakness to show his strength, and with His strength, I can face and overcome any obstacle.