Emotional Waves
By F. D. Adkins
My emotional waves crest and fall and rise and break, toppling and colliding as they tumble toward the shore.
The line is so long, and the longer I wait, the tighter my chest becomes and the more I tremble. I am not a thrill seeker, nor do I like roller coasters. Even though I know that the ride only lasts a minute or so and that I will be fine, the thought of being strapped in this little cart that is going to jerk my body around, lift me up, and then drop me multiple times fills me with panic.
We finally make it through the line, and with my heart pounding so hard that I am sure others must hear it, I get strapped into the little car. My daughter asks why I am squeezing my eyes closed and gripping the bar so tight that my knuckles are white when the ride hasn’t even started yet.
“Just making sure I am ready,” I respond in a shaky voice. The cart takes off at warp speed, twisting and turning, then slows to a creep as it climbs and climbs and climbs, then drops faster than it took off. And when I think it must be over and start to loosen my grip, the bottom falls out for one last grand finale.
Heaving a sigh of relief, I step from the little cart. I made it. I can relax. It’s over.
And then… I hear someone say, “Let’s do it again.”
Many people love amusement parks. After all, a lot of us center our vacations around going to them. Yet, I am one of those who likes to be more of a spectator when it comes to thrill-seeking. The older I get, the less I like them and the more anxious the rides make me. Now, I make sure to download a good book before going. My adventures are found in a good Christian suspense novel (actions and thrills with my feet planted firmly on the ground).
But I share this story because when I think about life on this earth and the emotions that accompany it, the image of a roller coaster pops into my head. One minute we may be anxious about something that is upcoming, and then we are slowly climbing to great heights and the view is amazing. We reach the top, and before we can take a breath, the ground beneath us disappears, and we drop.
As I mentioned last week, I have been doing an in-depth study of the book of Jeremiah. As I read Jeremiah 20 the other day, I felt that same awe as when I read the Psalms of lament. The pure human emotion flooding through the words written by someone thousands of years ago reflects the roller coaster of emotions we experience today. At the beginning of the chapter, Jeremiah is suffering. He has been beaten for the message he is sharing. So many are prophesying lies, and Jeremiah’s message is not one they want to hear or believe. But Jeremiah doesn’t change his message. He continues and sticks to the words that God has given him.
However, as can be seen in the next few verses, Jeremiah’s continuation is not without inner turmoil. He tells God of his distress. Jeremiah wants to stop. He doesn’t want to endure the persecution anymore, yet he can’t stop. He knows this is what he is called to do, and he cannot contain the message inside.
In verse 13, Jeremiah praises God. He seems to be on a mountaintop as he passionately proclaims, “Sing unto the Lord, praise ye the Lord: for he hath delivered the soul of the poor from the hand of evildoers” (Jeremiah 20:13 KJV). Yet in the next verse, his emotions appear to take a nosedive. He says, “Cursed be the day wherein I was born: let not the day wherein my mother bare me be blessed” (Jeremiah 20:14 KJV).
I was so touched as I read this scripture. The reality of his words and the depth of emotion is so relative to the same roller coaster ride that so many of us often experience and battle. As Christians, we are called to share the Gospel and shine for Jesus. But as our love for Jesus is so great and the desire burns within us to share what He has done, the enemy is firing darts. In 1 Peter 5:8, we are warned, “… your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour” (KJV). The devil wants to make it as difficult as he can. He wants to keep that message from spreading.
So, just as Jeremiah continued to proclaim and fulfill God’s purpose, let us “run with patience the race that is set before us” (Hebrews 12:1 KJV).
My Bible verse to memorize this week as we focus on the finish line with our eyes on Jesus:
“And God shall wipe all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.” Revelation 21:4 KJV
